Dictionary Corner

Modellers use a lot of buzz words to describe various activities in their hobby which to the lay-person can be confusing.  Understanding what is meant by the various terms increases the pleasure of the casual observer.

Ripcord – A pair of old trousers loved by the owner now with the ass hanging out.

Kill Cords – Brightly coloured pair of corduroy trousers, usually bought on line, embarrassing to the rest of their family.

Bi Plane – Last words uttered by stunned model aeroplane owner as to loud applause their expensive toy disintegrates on impact with the ground.

Carbon Fibre – The contents of the thick black smoke emanating from your now well alight model which leaves black bits all over your face, hands and shirt as you frantically try to smother the flames.

Fire Extinguisher – Come in all shapes and sizes with brand names such as Reebok, Adidas, Tottie Short, Dunlop Universals etc.

Yes! More S. O. D. I. T.

Sundry Observed Disasters In Technology

From time to time we all have those little disasters which seem to defy logic and are euphemistically described as obeying Sod’s Law.  Here are some more of them.

  • Expo Drill sets. A range of HSS drills ranging from 0.1mm to 2mm which are equally good at drilling rapidly through hard or soft materials such as flesh.
  • Dremel.  A very high speed instrument useful for drilling very small holes quickly and painlessly through your finger tips.
  • Elastoplasts. Supposedly useful for stopping the bleeding.  Have you successfully opened the packaging with your teeth whilst one hand drips in blood and with the other try to hold the wound closed?
  • Wife. Useful for opening Elastoplast packets whilst keeping you distracted from the pain by asking useful questions such as ‘But I don’t understand why you had your finger there in the first place?’

S. O. D. I. T.

Sundry Observed Disasters In Technology

From time to time we all have those little disasters which seem to defy logic and are euphemistically described as obeying Sod’s Law.  Here are just some of them.

  • Have you noticed how large scale model engineers go to great lengths to provide a   mirror finish to their paint and bright work, yet in the smaller gauges modellers go to great lengths to add dirt and general wear and tear to theirs?
  • They say perpetual motion can’t be achieved.  No?  Well drop an 8 ba nut or smaller on your workshop floor and watch that baby run!  Damn near perpetual motion to me.
  • Why do etymologists’ go to great lengths with special nets and traps to capture new species when in my experience all they need to do is paint their model in the open and within seconds all manner of winged creatures have committed suicide in the paint?  Usually the largest or heaviest bug waits until you think the finish has ’tacked off’ before they plough into it with great aplomb.

A Good Idea At The Time….

I was in the workshop performing a silver soldering job.

jsbmodelrestorations

Frozen Solid!

Requiring to quench the job I went outside to the water butt only to find it frozen.

jsbmodelrestorations

Going, Going….

 

Undaunted I dropped the item in, idly watching it ‘sizzle’ its way into the ice.

 

jsbmodelrestorations

Gone!!

 

 

And then the penny dropped!  Before I could react, in a flurry of bubbles, it went straight to the bottom.

Just have to wait until the thaw.

 

A modellers nightmare!

Despite the recent multi million pound modernisation and alterations to track layouts and platforms at Waverley Station this battered pair of double doors and notice are still extant opposite the new Platform 9.

The modellers nightmare

Unbelievable! With apologies to Victor Meldrew.

 Imagine the derision with which this would be greeted on a model.

The mind boggles when one tries to work out what happened!

 No wonder access was restricted.